Thank God for ice cream!

Well this will be short cause I just can’t wait to climb under my electric blanket at watch TV. Bo is recovering. He is on an antibiotic. Yesterday I spent most of the day next to him watching cartoons. He was too uncomfortable to walk. But today the antibiotic was obviously working cause he was back to his busy self. The day went pretty good just a little chaos in the end when I was trying to clean the house of course. I was mopping my floor when Bo decided to go outside in his footy pajamas with no shoes. Then later he was coughing (yeah, on top of everything else he has a cold), while coughing he gagged and through up on my couch. Yuck. Then not missing a beat he and Ayden (his 1 year old cousin) took all the pillows of my couch so they were scattered all over the floor. I soon realized trying to clean the house was just not worth it.

So I cleaned up dinner and gave him a bath and put on his clean PJ’s. And as soon as Michael and Jake walked through the door Jess and I ditched them all and went up to the dairy crème to get flurries with chocolate ice crème, stuffed with reeces peanut butter cups. Cause nothing like a good Flurry after a long week! Funny thing is 2 days ago I was laughing at all the people in line for ice cream with the snow all around, and now it was me!!!!

Well, that about raps it up. I am glad my boy is on the mend, and I am very thankful for ice cream too!!!!!!

A trip to the doctor, what fun.

What a day. My poor baby has some sort of skin rash and I had to take him to the doctor. I am sure any parent can totally relate to how enthused I was about taking my 2 year old to the germ infested waiting room where I would have to spend all of my energy trying to keep him occupied while trying to put out of my mind the little green gremlin in my brain screaming, “eewww, germs!” every time he touched something else. And then on to the back room, a whole new set of germs, cause face it I hardly think he is going to contain himself to the little isle of paper on the table/bed, whatever they call it. I call it that table that is just one more thing for me to yell at my kids about while waiting, “stop pushing the buttons, leave the table where it is at, stop playing with the paper, don’t lick the paper, don’t sit under the paper etc.” I am sure there are more; just thinking about it again has made me to exhausted to recall everything. Today when the doc walked in the paper was torn into at least 4 pieces and scattered on the floor. But hey I was just happy I got him to quit playing the with “hazardous trash cupboard”. Oh yeah and ya gotta love that spinney chair, especially if you have more than one kid in the room. The range of games they come up with. We have the obvious take turns spinning each other, but my favorite is “hey, lets see how fast we can go and crash into the wall. Finally, after what seems an eternity and I am about to commit myself to the mental institute if I have to be boxed in with the toddlers any longer, the doc arrives.

This is where the real stress kicks in. My poor baby is in a lot of pain from his rash. It hurt just to barely touch it. Well I had to hold him down so the doc could get a culture done. Poor thing. It just drained the life right out of me. I just hate to see them suffer.

Finally after 2 hours the trip was over and we were headed to pick up the antibiotic.

What I found endearing about today was when it was all over and he was lying in my arms nothing else in the world mattered. I didn’t care that he through paper all over the doctors room, I didn’t care that he makes 50 million messes a day, I didn’t care about the play dough in the carpet or the crayon on the walls. All I cared is that he was going to be ok and that his chubby little face was in my lap. And I think to myself, it is all worth it. All worth it to have the privilege to love someone so precious.

Where is the silver lining.

Silver lining, silver lining, sliver lining. OK so any of you who have read, “why I write” at the top of my blog knows what I mean by silver lining. I just keep saying it to myself to somehow convince myself to find it for today. It has just been one of those days.
I woke up with a cold accompanied by a headache. Fortunately I was able to convince Bo to watch cartoons for a while so I could take some painkiller and lay down longer.
The rest of the afternoon mostly consisted of laundry and cleaning, a typical Monday. The time came to pick up the kids and I headed to the garage and saw our cat in the front window. At that moment Michael’s words from this morning came back to me, “have you seen the cat, I couldn’t find him last night or this morning, is he in the house somewhere?” Well, I found him and was scared to open the door. Sure enough I opened the door and the odor of cat pee hit me in the face. Oh my Gosh, the pet that I didn’t really want, cause I didn’t want something else to clean up after took a leak in my van. Not my happiest moment. I called my husband leaving such a cheerful message using all my polite words as you can imagine. He called me back and said he found the van door open last night and shut it before he went to bed. He didn’t know the cat was in there. When I picked the kids up I told them when Dad got home they would need to clean the van out with him. There comment was “why do WE have to clean up after the cat.” I told them cause it was their pet. They saw fit to respond with “well he is your cat too you should have to help.” Yeah, I probably should have waited until the steam quit blowing out my ears to respond. It could have been a better parenting moment. Nope, instead I said, “ I never wanted the cat because when it came to cleaning up its messes, I figured the kids would complain about it. So if you really don’t want to clean it up let me know I will give the cat away tomorrow.”
So they cleaned it out and sprayed it down with odorban. It is now airing out in the garage. We made sure the cat was locked out tonight. I am hoping it works. So maybe someday I will laugh at this moment, but not today. We will see how it looks tomorrow.

Agenda driven, who, me?

I think it is quite funny how after a parenting class I assume I will get it right and my children will comply like angels. Our house will have warm glow from the street, as we have 4 children with little halos over their head. Michael and I would be perfectly calm all knowing parents. And our children will respond as we expect, using the new found Value Based techniques we have learned. And then the moment things don’t go as the “should” I wonder what we are doing wrong, or what is wrong with our kids. We used the perfect technique and yet they are not doing what I think they should do. So I react with my former technique (previous to value based parenting) with the what are you thinking, don’t argue about this, it is ridiculous, this it how it is and you know it, and your grounded for life, lock and key, never allowed to leave your room. Ok so the latter isn’t something I usually say out loud.  Anyway we it may take a day or two before I throw my hands in the air and try what Dean says again. Which is to go into a conversation seeking to understand and not drive home my agenda, even though I know I am right. Ha ha
So the other day I had a chat with my daughter. She had been having what I like to call “melt down moments”, this usually involved rolling of the eyes smoke coming from the ears and the phrases, “it’s not my fault, and you are ruining my life” I usually get aggravated and try to prove to her that she had a part to play in the problem and try to convince her that her attitude is way out of line. Which usually leads to the phrase, “no it’s not, and it’s all their fault. I am sure you can just imagine how the conversation continues to down spiral from here. So, as I was saying, the other day I let go of all my agenda, I let go of the points I wanted to prove, and I simply decided to put the ball in her court. The conversation went like this.

“So Kate, remember wen you were yelling at me the other night insisting I didn’t know what happens” Yes, she replies. Well how do you feel about that conversation? Not good, she answered. What else to you feel? Please be honest, don’t jus try to come up with what answer you think I am looking for, tell me what you feel. And she said,” I don’t like it when you yell at me.” I responded “ oh, I can understand that, I do need to work on that.” Why did you insist on arguing with me?” She said “cause I want to be right.” Do you think you were right? She said “not really, when I was arguing I thought there might be a 1 percent chance I was right, but I knew you probably were, but I didn’t’ want to be wrong.” I thanked her for her honesty and her if she would like to here why I made the statement I made. From here on the conversation went well, I could tell by her facial responses that she understood where I was coming from and agreed with the problem at hand. She walked away with a smile on here face and there was no tension between us.
I just had to laugh. I thought to myself, why am I always so surprised when I am truly not agenda driven, the principals actually do work. Some times it takes a little time, but if I stay at peace and leave my “gotta raise perfect kids” attitude out, we make a lot more progress. I went into that conversation, NOT trying to prove my point but to truley desired to understand what she was thinking and feeling, and wanted her to know where I was coming from too. And thing went sooooo much better. I know there were times I went into the conversation, asking the questions, looking like I was trying to understand them. It sometimes even “looked” like a perfect little value based technique for a moment, however the energy behind it was to prove my point and make my kid behave, and the energy is what the kids pick up on.

On the phone for ten minutes

Of course, I get on the phone with my boss, Dean Nixon. He has been teaching me the value based parenting concepts. And I am eventually going to teach the classes myself. So while on the phone with him discussing business, my two year old, yep the same one from the Meijer story, went out side in his socks and no coat ringing the loud door bell. It is February, and we just had a snow day yesterday but he doesn’t seem to care. So I pull him inside more to stop the noise of the doorbell, never mind the sock feet in the snow. The conversation went on and I was leaning over my calendar in the kitchen when I heard the clatter behind me. I turned around to see all of our travel toothbrushes scattered everywhere. He must have gotten into the travel bag. Finally, the conversation ends. So I picked up the toothbrushes and headed upstairs and on the steps was my travel bag with the shampoo out and the top off, toothpaste out with the top off, I am just thankful nothing was oozing out of either. Q-tips all over and a band aid was completely opened and sticking to the carpet. At lease this answered my question of where he obtained the Q-tip he was trying to shove in my ear moments ago. And to think all this happened in a matter of ten minutes.

I am HUMAN

I am finding myself asking the question. Why do we struggle with our humanity? It is perplexing to me that we are all human, yet we all strive to be super-human. All the super hero movies of superman and wonder woman are not to far from what we wish we were and attempt to be. We may recognize the fact that we aren’t bullet proof and we don’t have x-ray vision, but we all want to essentially have bullet proof character and emotions, I do any way. I want to be a perfect parent, one who never is impatient and always knows what to tell her children when they are down. I want to be the perfect wife, with dinner on the table and a smile on my face.( yeah, my husband would probably love this too. Tonight we had what ever we could find in the fridge. I call it hodge podge day.) I want to be that perfect friend who never lets anyone down and never says anything stupid. Basically, I just want to be perfect. But what I am beginning to realize and I hope I continue to realize for the rest of my life is, I am perfect. I am a perfect human being learning and growing everyday. I am a human being who at times struggles with depression or yells at my kids. I sometimes cry over stupid stuff. What I am learning is that is ok. Dean Nixon has a blog post about not accepting our humanity. I always thought that I was a grateful person, a happy person who truly lived life. What is didn’t realize is how I rob myself from enjoying and living life when I am at odds with my own humanity. The very being I am. I can’t say it any better than Dean and his words have helped me these past couple weeks and I want to share them with you….

One of the most important lessons we can learn is to accept our human state. We tend to fight the simple truths. For example, kids will always get out of control when Mom gets on the phone, or that drinking “diet” coke isn’t going to change the fact we ate a big bowl of ice cream last night, and that we will get our heart broken more than twice. Another simple truth we resist is we are not perfect and are not meant to be, we are progressive and meant to learn and grow. We are constantly at odds with this truth, fighting the aging process, hiding our mistakes and judging others for theirs. We live year by year for a reason, we don’t just get it all over at once. Learning to accept the slow pace from birth to the inevitable death is a journey and we can run through it wearing the blinders of expectation and judgment, or roll the windows down and feel the breeze. That is the simple truth.”

Ya know, I do have my valleys, but I also have my mountaintops. And how much more I appreciate those mountaintops, because I have experienced those valleys. So to this day I say, I am human and proud of it!!!!!

PS. If you want to read more of Dean’s insight, for which I am TRULY grateful for you can check out his blog. DeanNixon.blogspot.com

Change the way you see it!! Sometimes it’s just ok to cry.

Change the way you see it. Hmmmm. That is one of TurningLeaf’s principles. A simple concepts sometimes difficult to do.

Today I was running. I wanted to get my heart rate up and have that great feeling after a good workout. So I ran for a bit and when I was finished I just began to cry. It had been a long few days and after my run the tears began to pour. I had just had a conversation with Dean the night before and it ended with him saying “your number one job while you are here on earth is to BE HUMAN. To experience the hills and the valleys. To be excited, to be ticked, to be sad and happy. Your job is to experience the fun times, to go through the struggles. Your job is to grow, to progress as a human being. So change the way you see yourself, and change the way you view the struggle.” So as my tears began to stream down my face, in that moment I changed the way I viewed my emotional state, and I gave myself permission to cry. In that moment I did not view it as weakness or as not having it all together. I thought of that quote “there is a season for everything” and especially the line “there is a time to cry” and I chose to view it as my time to cry. So I cried and I let it feel good. I let it be exactly what it was. An emotional release from all the pressures I was enduring. I let it be a release I needed.

Is it time for bed yet?

Wow. What a busy day. Out of bed this morning at 7, made lunches and sent the kids to school with Mike. Jump on the treadmill for 10 min. so I could say I worked out today. Then totally exhausted and sweaty after such a strenuous run, I took a shower. Today I was volunteering at the school so as soon as I was ready I took Bo to my sisters and made it to all 3 kids class rooms in 3 hours. Yeah!

The rest of the afternoon pretty much consumed by my Taxi services. Picked up Bo, picked up Timmy and friend from school. An hour later went back to pick up Josh and Kate from after school activity. Went home cooked dinner, got the boys ready for wrestling and sent them out the door with there Dad.

Spent the rest of the evening with Bo and Kate, which was actually a calm evening despite the 10 minutes I was giving Bo bouncy rides on my shins. I know sounds weird on paper but I am sure most of you have humored you toddler in this same way.(lying on your back with your knees to your chest and the kid bouncing on your shins). Anyway, Bo is quiet the sausage. He ways a lot. So I should have gained some muscle tonight. Which technically means I worked out twice today.

But finally all are tucked away and I am ready for bed.

Good night.

Been there Done That…I can’t believe my kid ate that.

Been There, Done That…I can’t believe my kid ate that.

I want to hear from you. Share your similar experiences that unite us all…

I had taken my kids to McDonald’s one night for dessert and some time on the play land. The kids were up in the tunnels and I took a call on my cell phone. While talking with a friend of mine, my 3 three year old came and sat next to me. I looked at him and said, “Oh, are you finishing your nuggets” and then I was flooded with panic when I remembered we didn’t order nuggets, we only had dessert. Oh gross!

So now I want to here similar stories. Share your “ I can’t believe my kid ate that” story in the comments!!