Well I have been waiting for our sight to get fixed. For some reason it doesn’t allow me to post pictures :/ But it has been so long and so many people have been asking how Zayne is doing on the new chemo. I’m so sorry it has taken this long to post. Hopefully the site will be up and running and I can show you his journey!!! The first 2 months were great!! Ups and downs of course but nothing like the last chemo we were on! However month #3 was a little rough. He woke up with horrible stomach pains and puking so this month I think he is a little gun shy that is going to happen again that he is not able to swallow his pill. He got his first night down great but after that he struggled, and being the parent I am I didn’t let him try more than 3x to get down a wet soggy CHEMO pill. I was so afraid it was going to break open in his mouth. So we have struggled for 4 nights now. Every time he would have to take a pill he would say “Mom what if my tummy hurts like last time?” Poor guy 🙁 Things are still going good though. We will get through it! He has had an amazing last month!! We moved out of our beautiful first home on March 30 and are currently living with my mom while making plans to build….it’s been an adjustment for all of us but the boys LOVE having Nonnie live with them!! It has been a blast watching the boys ride bikes and trot to and from my sisters house across a little grass path in between houses. School is going GREAT for both of them!!! I love getting to watch them in there classrooms!!
We seriously cannot wait til summer!!! I can’t wait to have both my boys back with me all day long for snuggles, play time and LOTS of fun!!
I am hoping soon to have a little preview of Zaynes book up!! Kind of a tear jerker but I think it will be a great read in the end!! I hope everyone is enjoying the weather (when its not raining) and PROMISE to get better at posting!!!
Unnecessary Stress disguised as Diligence… Also known as, “Control Freak”.
Oftentimes we find ourselves stressing out over a situation of which we have NO CONTROL. So why do we stress? That is a GREAT question. Think about it. Let’s say for instance I hate the flu. Well, I actually do hate the flu, and I had morning sickness for 4 months with 3 of my children, so it’s not hard for me to imagine. But let’s say my best friend called me and warned me that she had come down with the flu and we just spent the entire day before shopping together. We even shared a dessert at our favorite restaurant. Oh, I can already feel my imaginary stress kickin’ in. What if I get the flu! Oh it will be horrible! I really don’t want the flu! I hate the flu, and then my kids will get the flu, and I hate to see them sick, it’s so awful. I am so worried! I was just with her all day yesterday! Ahhhhh that is prime exposure!
But you and I both know there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. Yeah, I could slam some vitamin C and a few other immune boosters. That could help, but my stress and worry over it for sure isn’t gonna help anything. There is no magic formula that states Worry + Stress=Keeping away the flu. If anything, the stress with weaken my body’s immune system, making me that much more susceptible. Yet, many of us find ourselves spiraling out of control over similar scenarios. The scene may change, but what always remains is the Unnecessary Worry.
Now, things don’t seem as black and white when you consider the “scenes” that are more emotional and tied to your heart. For instance:
Stress about what other people, including our friends, think of us.
Stress about how someone we care about is handling their life.
Stress about terminal illness, health conditions, brain tumors.
Stress about the choices our kids make.
It is especially hard to let go of stress in these types of situations. And I am not saying there is NEVER something we can do. In each of these cases it is good to look at possible remedies or ways to make personal shifts when needed. But we must be careful to acknowledge what we ultimately don’t have control over and let it go, because “stressing” about it actually creates negative side effects as well. And goodness knows, if you are dealing with circumstances that may be less than desirable, you certainly don’t want stress reeking for havoc on things, so don’t add that to your list.
If you would like help with looking into situations that may be causing unnecessary stress, please set up a coaching appointment today. Sometimes it can be very helpful to have a trained coach to help you get a different perspective and lesson the stress load we carry.
Hmmmm. Let’s see, Taxes! Need I say more? I mean seriously, can a form be any more confusing. If you made 50 marbles put it on line B, and then subtract how many marbles you sold, did you pay taxes on the marbles you sold, oh do you owe anyone marbles, and in the partnership to do share your marbles or are all your marbles yours, and this year did you, by chance lose any of your marbles. If the answer to any of these is yes or no, please add that sum of that dividend to the 5 dominoes you started with and put the answer on line, LMNOP. Oh, and by all means, please PAY someone to do this for you, because we didn’t write the form in English, only those who speak taxes, can’t truly translate the form. Right?!
Unnecessary Stress…eeew…who needs that?(4 part Series)
Stress….. when I think of all the addictions in the world, stress has got to be the most subtle killer. Seriously! We are all so quick to point our finger at those with addictions so much more obvious, like smoking or drinking or Brownies, yum, while the addict to stress can often be viewed as the unsung hero, high achiever, or person of great success. While our achievements may be noticed by everyone, it’s the internal side effects of the stress is what one needs to pay attention to. Just as a smoker may end up with lung disease, the drinker may end up liver disease, and the brownie lover may end up with chocolate disease…lol, the stress addict has their internal side effects as well. And I am not just talking physical! Yes there is PLENTY of research out there telling us the physical implications of stress. However, I am talking emotional! Some of us are missing out on the very essence of the experience of life because we are always stressed.
I can say this because I get it….Hi my name is Jamie and I am a stress-aholic. (I actually belong to a few different anonymous groups…this is just one. 😉
Yes I get it, life can be stressful, but what I want to challenge you to eliminate is “unnecessary” stress. So often we don’t realize how much unnecessary stress we allow ourselves to carry.
Unnecessary Stresses lures… Don’t take the BAIT!
Unnecessary Stress disguised as DILIGENCE
Over committing because we FEEL NEEDED
Martyr syndrome, (feel valued from people’s sympathy)
Over committing to OVER ACHIEVING (we feel value from our achievements)
How to spit out the hook….
LET GO of unnecessary stress: Stop stressing about something over which you have NO CONTROL
Get Value Internally: Let go of the need to be valued, liked, or admired by others.
Obviously these are easier said than done. But I assure you it is quite possible! The 4 Steps to Confidence Series helps you let go of unnecessary stress and helps you to truly let go of the opinions of others. For more info Contact me.
Coming up in this series on Unnecessary Stress, more details on the “bait” I have named above.
Unnecessary stress Disguised as…
Climbing the Corporate ladder
All 3 of these can be pretty sneaky in seeming Necessary, look for the blogs to come to explain why.
Check out the series on sale- Eye of the Storm, helps you to cope with the stress in your life.
Oh My Gosh! My LIFE!!!!! Has been insane!!!! Anybody else with me. Laundry, work, kids sports, finances, a kid needs braces, another has a sports injury, oh, and then another does too, and then there is TAXES. And for those of you who know me and numbers, yeah, I should probably have Timmy do them. Lol
I do think it is a bit ironic that the stresses in my life have kept me from keeping up with the blog and posting this month’s theme being, STRESS!!!
This month I will be posting some insight on how to cope with stress. And really, what I have found the Key to Freedom from Stress is escape! Take a trip to Jamaica where it’s all “No Problem Man”, in that fun Jamaican accent, and NEVER come back. Just stay on vacation FOREVER!!!! But if you can’t get that much time off work, then stay tuned to this month’s blog post, or check out the “Eye of the Storm” Series that continuing on sale this month!!!
There are ways to manage and cope with stress. Let me help you turn this…
I recently lost a colleague of mine. Only he was more than a colleague. In this line of work I am in with TurningLeaf Wellness Center, we actually become more like family as we work alongside each other. And I have now lost one of my TurningLeaf family members. I am struggling today with the idea he is gone. We were are divided by many states, but that didn’t stop our friendship in the least. And here I am wishing I could just send him a text or give him a call. As this week has gone by surrounded by so many emotions, I now find myself wondering. Did he know how much he meant to me? Did he know how grateful I was for his support and insight? Did he know how much I appreciated his humor, and how he made me laugh even if I was upset or nervous. Did I ever tell him, I am not sure I did? I can only hope he felt my heart and knew I loved him like a brother and will miss him greatly.
Soon my mind wondered to my other close relatives and friends. Do they know? Do they know how much I love them, and appreciate them. You always think you will have another day to say it, until you don’t. I know a year ago, when I was texting Greg, and his responses were making me laugh as they always did, I never thought for a second I wouldn’t have that so soon.
So today I encourage you to tell those you love, that you love them. Tell those you care about, what they mean to you. Whether it be over the phone, in a letter or in person. Tell them!
I realize this is a bit somber. It is where my heart is today.
Tomorrow I will announce the month’s theme, and the new promotional series package! Until then, hug your family, and tell them you love them.
In looking for a flashback Friday, I came across this post that I thought would be good in closing out this months theme of adversity. I liked reading it and looking back on much I have accomplished since I wrote it. It reminds me to appreciate what I have learned through my adversities and to keep climbing.
For about month I have found my self, to be quite frank, down in the dumps. I have been allowing my thoughts to tear me down. I have been allowing unrealistic expectations to discourage me, and allowing my fear to immobilize me. After some thinking I realized that at this point in my life it was all about a choice. It was about choosing what I wanted to feel and choosing to believe in me, and my dreams, even if I didn’t feel the “magic.”
I realized I was looking for the enchanted door that said, “This way is the RIGHT way.” I was waiting for the music that played as Rockey ran up the stairs, or that played when Rudy ran out on to that football field. I was waiting for that magical, Hollywood, “feel good” moment, that moment in the movies when the actor is being courageous and taking a risk that ultimately pays off. The actors are usually defying odds or choosing to believe in themselves when no body else does. But as I face my own challenges I realized there is no music. In real life we must make our choice without the reassuring cue of the inspirational orchestra in the background. We must make our choice without the moving trumpet that seems to say now is your moment when you will defy all odds and achieve your goals. We must simply choose to believe in ourselves over and over again no matter the outcome, believing in each step as progression.
In the moments that are scary or out of our comfort zone, there are usually a million voices telling us why we can’t. Without the playing of that inspirational music, we are left with our thoughts, and that is where we make a choice of what we are going to allow our thoughts to believe. Are we going to choose to believe in ourselves?
The choice can be during the simplest of moments, like when you realize you forgot to send your kid with his lunch. Or you locked your keys in your car, messed up a presentation, or made the biggest fool of yourself at work. In those moment rather than think about all the places you seem to come up short, or think about what everyone else must be thinking of you, in that moment you accept yourself, mistakes and all. Don’t let your mind wander to what everyone else might be thinking, ‘cause the truth of the matter is, the only thing they are thinking about you, is wondering what you are thinking about them.
And when we choose to believe in ourselves in these little everyday moments, then we will start believing in ourselves when the moments seem more challenging. We may go for a new job interview, take on a project at the school, or even chase down a dream. As we make the choices to believe in ourselves, even though there is no climatic them song, then comes the feeling of empowerment, and that my friend “feels” like music.
We can feel the music of freedom and empowerment. Free to believe in ourselves despite the outward opinion of others or circumstances. Free to take a risk and believe we can do whatever we dream.
And when all else fails… Make a playlist on your phone and rock it out in the kitchen or on your drive!!! It’s amazing. Here are 2 of my faves.
Loose a Kid, Forget a Kid, Ice Cream for dinner…and Repeat.
Well, Jess is moving and it has been CRAZY around here!!!!
“When will you be done working today Jame.” Jess said, which I of course interpreted as, Oh my gosh when will you get her to help me make sense of this unpacking moving mess.
“I can leave my office by 1pm.” I responded
“Ugh, can’t you reschedule your clients. What if I get lost in all these boxes.” She said, her voice sounding completely overwhelmed. It had been a long week of packing, yesterday was chemo day at Devos and she was having to say goodbye to a house she just wasn’t emotionally ready to let go of.
“It’ll be ok Jess, a couple days and we will have you all settled in. I will be there at 1:15.”
At 1:30, after stuffing our faces with a subway sandwich, we started moving furniture up stairs. Yup, UP stairs. And considering the fiasco it was just 3 days earlier getting a desk, DOWN stairs, I really wasn’t sure how successful we would be, but an hour later we were quite proud of ourselves for moving a queen size bed, a hope chest and a TV!!!! YES UPSTAIRS!! Granted our hubbys coulda done it in 15 min, still, we were proud.
Here is a video of bringing the “desk down”, after watching, I am sure you can imagine the “taking bed up” process.
And that is just the last half, there was more!!!
“Oh my gosh, It’s 2:40!” Jess exclaimed “We gotta get the kids.”
I jumped in my car and headed for the school.
“OK, 1, 2, 3, 4…..um where is kid number 5? I am supposed to come home with 5 of them today.”
A quick call to his teacher by Jackie, our amazing secretary,
“Uh huh, ok, thanks Mrs. Gonzolaz.” Jackie said
As she hung up the phone she looked at me with a bit of amusement. “So…Bo went to baseball practice.”
Me with a sheepish grin, “Oh yeah, I knew that.”
After sharing a laugh with Jackie and the others in the office who had witnessed my, what seemed monthly occurrence, I jetted back to help Jess.
When I returned to the school 2 hours later to pick up Bo, I noticed Timmy’s team piling into the gym.
AHHHHHHH. the OTHER kid had practice too!!! Did I bring him up with me, nope. Running to the car I went!
Now the rest of the night was supposed to go like this.
Pick up Timmy from Baseball…
Pile everyone in the car…pick up Kate from Softball…
and go to the dairy Kreme for ice cream!(because I promised the first WARM AND SUNNY day we would go. Well, that day was TODAY.
This is what the rest of the night, ACTUALLY looked like…
Move more boxes and unpack,
Run out the door 5 minutes late…
Pick up Timmy….Pick Up Kate…
Swing by Dairy Kreme on the way home and have ice cream for dinner.
ON TO TODAY…
This morning, I stopped by Jess’ “house of boxes” and the conversation went like this…
Jake: “Babe where is my tootbrush.”
Jess: In my car
Jake: Where are my jeans
Jess: I don’t know
Jake: Ok how about deodorant.
Jess: In a box…somewhere.
Also, Today Kate has a Dr. Appointment. Josh, Timmy and Bo have a dentist appointment. All of which are at 2:45. Yeah, OOPS. I called on Jess to help me out. It seemed things were all orchestrated perfectly. I would go to Meijer and get food to feed the kids. They keep insisting this is one of my parental roles. I’m not totally convinced. Then I would pick Kate and Jess would grab the other 3 and run them to the dentist.
Right on time I pushed 2 carts out of Meijer, by myself. One loaded with groceries that looked as though it should last 3 months, but probably only 2 weeks. And the other full of storage bins for Jess. Then I locked my keys in my car! And I also locked my phone in the car. Keep in mind, not only did this really limit my ability to make a call, my phone also had the code to my keyless entry on it. YUP! Only I could pull it off so well. Fortunately, by best friends Dad was walking out as I was walking in, and he let me use his phone so I could get access to the keyless entry.
So, ultimately hoping to NOT misplace any kids today…but I can’t say for sure that it won’t be ice cream for dinner again. lol
Super Z Update…
Well this is going to be short because this week is moving week at the Warren home! Lots of work!!
Zayne did incredible!!! Little hiccup with the IV but otherwise he was super geeked to play with a Paw Patrol helicopter!! We got the results today…not normally that fast.
The solid tumor has slightly shrunk which is amazing news!!! Don’t know if it’s the chemo or the Frankinsence oil :/ Either way we will continue doing both. However, the cyst that we have been watching so closely has grown slightly. Not the best news but he is still living life to the fullest and with no symptoms of motor loss. He sure is a trooper!!! I was reminded to rejoice in the small victories and that’s what I plan on doing!!! We go back in next Monday for his 3rd dose of chemo and I will be able to view the scans myself. I’m excited about that seeing how I have his previous ones almost memorized!! I thank God for my beautiful family and all the amazing things we are learning through all of this. It’s definitely a journey but I finally feel like I’m starting to embrace it instead of fight it!! Time for acceptance!! As always thank you for your unwavering support!!!
More than 10 years ago, I thought I was experiencing the toughest adversity I every would. During this trial, I thankfully found the TurningLeaf Semianrs. I gained a whole new perspective on life and dove into training to be a life coach so I could help others do the same. Little did I know, I would be so grateful for my experiences with TurningLeaf to help me cope with facing our experience with Zayne.
Life was caving in. The house was a disaster, and I was spending so much time running the kids to their various activities, I was certain one might forget to call me Mom, and a “hey cabby” would just come flying out of there face without them even knowing why. And dinner, that was seeming more like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. I had just invested money into marketing tools and started renting my own office, hoping I would be able to maintain a client base enough to keep it. Things were good at the moment, but in my line of work, well, it’s a month to month guessing game. I could be slammed one month, and scarce the next. So I am sure you can imagine the bag nerves that I was carrying around. And lets top it all off with the big news, oh yeah, Zayne’s tumor was growing again. So stressed, emotional and frazzled doesn’t even begin to describe how I felt.
And to this I hafta say… Just Dance. When life opens up and pours the rain, I say, stretch out your arms, look up and feel the rain on your skin..let go and Dance.
There are many moments when I find myself at what seems to be the end of my rope. Moments that I was low, and crawling into bed and sleeping for a few months seemed the only way to escape the adversity at hand. But seriously, the best way to pull me out of my “despair” was to just embraced the rain and let go and dance. And so I turn my music up in my kitchen and spread my arms wide and begin to dance.
This video is was taken after Zaynes MRI, 3 months after his brain surgery. In February the surgeon miraculously removed over half of Zayne’s tumor, sending us on with news that it should be years before he saw us again, if ever. 3 Months later the tumor and the cyst were grown back to the size they were just before surgery. Only now the tumor had grown back in a web like pattern and there was no way surgery would be an option again. I had been hearing Fight Song for a couple months by then, and invited my sis over to dance in my kitchen. As you can imagine, we didn’t feel like dancing, but there is a freedom in letting go.
As we keep with the them of the month, Adversity, I of course leave you with a challenge, of course. Dance! Dance in your kitchen, dance in the rain, heck, dance in the middle of the grocery store, sometimes they really play some good music. And if you really have the nerve, take a video and post it to my page.
And if you would like help with leaning to let go and dance in the midst of your storm, the “Eye of the Storm” Series is still on sale, thru end of March!