When did you stop writing…

“When did you stop writing?” my life coach asked me, sending my thoughts to canvas my brain, looking for clues as to why my stress level seems to be measuring up to Mount Everest these days. Writing has been a part of me for some time now.  It has been an outlet and a way for me to share my heart and passion with my readers.  But lately I have been telling myself I am too busy to write.  Too busy to write? Seriously the “too busy” phrase is as popular as the Big Mac, and probably worse for you.

I remember about a week ago I pulled into my driveway, and as the garage door raised I thought to myself, ugh, I have to get the laundry done and cook dinner.  As I let out a sigh of displeasure I asked  myself, Do you remember when you moved into your first house as a newlywed, how excited you were to cook dinner for your handsome man?    Do you remember when the first few onesies came through the laundry you were so excited to lay those miniature outfits, that smelled of new baby, in the dresser drawers.   You weren’t simply doing a task that needed to be done; you were living life and loving it.

Life is moving at such a rapid pace and there are so many opportunities and expectations that, without us even realizing it, sometimes our magical experiences of life begin to grow a box next to them just waiting for the check mark.  And that empty box serves as a black hole that steals our energy and swallows up the magic converting that “experience” into a “task” to be done.   In that moment, when I watched the garage door rise, I realized I was putting so much pressure on myself to keep up with life, that  my once  magical experiences of wife and motherhood had grown those little empty boxes just waiting to be checked off.  Somewhere in between kids in school, Josh being a senior, Zayne’s brain surgery, my job coaching, me as a wife and a mother, and oh yeah, I went back to school(more in a later story), but somewhere in the middle of  all that, I forgot life is about the experience of it all, not the expectation of accomplishing it all.  Who cares if I get it all done right or if life is completely upside down sometimes.  So what if I have cleaned the same dirty socks and wiped the same counters and picked up the same kid’s junk…um, I mean prize possessions a million times.  How exciting that I am living the life I wanted.   And I want to soak up the magic, not check it off a list.  And while I am at it, I might as well give myself a break.  There is no list to accomplish…just life to live…so why take on the pressure.     So here I am, putting homework on the backburner, and letting the laundry go just another day…. and enjoying some writing; reminding myself to let go of the list and soak up the magic of life.

Do you believe in Magic?  I do.  And if you don’t believe, just take a minute and listen to the laughter of a child… you will hear it.  It’s magic.  A child doesn’t look at life as a “To do” list.  They see it as a “bucket list”.  They find the littlest of things entertaining, funny and worth exploring.  Last week on vacation Bo and Ayden spend a solid 45 minutes digging a hole in the sand… a hole.  To them it was exciting and interesting.  “Mom! Look!  We reached water!”  It was an amazing accomplishment.

So as the sun and warmth peek through to Michigan today, remind yourself to slow down, take a little of the pressure off yourself and remember to soak up life…look for the magic…it’s there, you just have to slow down enough to see it.

live life in the front row