Super Z update

MRI week. I find myself patting my own back this week. God has definitely been graceful and I have been listening. My mind has run off a few times but thankfully I have been able to look at the evidence of God standing with me. I am beyond blessed that I wasn’t insane all month like usual. Getting ready for school and being a cheerleading coach have been great distractions. However, I found myself nostalgic coming home from the game Friday. I talked to Dave during the 3rd quarter and reminisced about the past year as he walked away. What a journey. What a crazy supported journey. I think back to the nights that little blonde headed boy would come in my room at the age of 3 and crawled in my bed with a headache that wouldn’t let up. Nights rocking him in the rocking chair, singing as he cried waiting for pain pills to kick in. I went back to our first trip to Devoss. Our first chemo. The days he would fall asleep in my arms as I listened to the beeping machine and felt the buzz of the nurses around me. I would soak up those moments. I would run my fingers through that curly hair and down his sweet little face. I went back to dark moments and good moments. I went back to ER visits. Doctors that drove me crazy and doctors I couldn’t say thankyou enough to. And then I thought about today. Today we went to doctors for physicals before the MRI. And I think about the game Zayne and I played in the car on the way there. “Mom….You guesth what sthong I’m singing.” His tongue came through the whole his missing bottom teeth left. He was sitting in the front seat with me. He began to sing softly ….”I am…holding onto you…in the middle of the sthorm…” his voice was so sweet and carefree. I guessed the song as I rested my hand on his leg. “Yup….You got that right Mom!” He was so proud of me! After playing the song game he grabbed his stethoscope Marylou gave him last Christmas. He put it on and wrapped it up to form something that looked like a headset with a microphone. “Ok mom….I’ll be the tower and you be Dushty the plane.” My heart smiled!! His imagination was huge and I LOVED every second of it. “Dusthty you are clear for take off….” He looked at me intensely and said “Ok mom now you say ‘Clear for take off….roger’” The games continued all the way to the doctors office. It’s moments like that, that I want to remind myself of when all the awful thoughts of ‘what if we get bad news, what if it’s chemo again, what if it’s surgery’. I think about how many more moments I have now of him NOT being in pain. They are outweighing the moments he was in pain  I know Sunday will bring a whole new set of feelings but I do know we don’t go alone. There are so many people who have encouraged me in just the past day, I HAVE to know He is here…He is with me. I don’t know what the MRI holds or what our outcome will be but I hope I can put that aside for our amazing flight and hopefully some more soaking up my baby’s wonderful imagination!!! The MRI is this Monday. His eye exam is on Tuesday. I hope to have news up by Tuesday or Wednesday for everyone. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers