Super Z update

I find myself walking around the subdivision at my in-laws in Texas. There is a cool breeze as the sun shines down. Ear buds, blaring the song It Is Well. My pace quickens and the walk turns into a jog. This mountain that’s in front of me…will be thrown into the midst of the sea. I run a little faster. Through it all my eyes are on you….so let go my soul and trust in You….The waves and wind still know HIS name. I can’t run anymore. I felt so strong coming up to this MRI. I felt ready. I felt good news coming. And now I find myself opening closets. I have put my fears on a shelf for the past 2 months just enjoying life. Enjoying my boys being home…and most of all enjoying normalcy. I pray as the floods of my emotions come pouring out. Lord, I want it to be well with me…I want to trust so badly. I want to give my children to YOU. I want even the worst of plans to be well with me. Help me to dance in the rain…help me to enjoy life even when news is not so good. But I don’t know if I can do it all again right now. I don’t want to go back right now. Please don’t make me. I just want to experience my little family the way it used to be. I think back to the last time in my life when I felt like God stepped out. My parents divorce. My walk picks up pace once again. I felt as though I would never get through that time in my life. I felt as though I was never going to forgive them. But then I remember dancing with my dad at my sister-in-laws wedding. I did forgive. And as my Dad held me in his arms and led me around the dance floor I know that we are closer than ever. A different song starts to play and I hear the words You call me out in deepest waters, the great unknown, where feet may fail. I made it through the divorce. I came out alive with eyes opened. The life lessons I learned through that are irreplaceable. The song played on, My soul will rest in your embrace…for I AM YOURS and YOU are mine. I am HIS. No matter what I face, no matter how much my feet fail and fear surrounds me He will never leave me on my own. And if He will do that for me He will do that for my little boy. I turn the corner and my in-laws house is visible. It’s like coming home. Cozy. Warm. Safe. I love being here. And as we approach tomorrow mornings MRI I know that we go in once again with an Army of love and strength behind us. We will go in guarded by HIS plan and a knowing that whatever the results are HE will lead, HE will guide, and HE will help us conquer.
The MRI is set for Monday..and we will get results on Thursday. I know I have asked a lot of everyone that follows my sons story but I guess I’m going to ask one more time for all of our faithful prayer warriors to once again to shower us in strength!! I will be sure to post as soon as we know the results!!! Love to all of you from the Super Z family!!!

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